We're Not Freaks
by Tyler Christopher Durden
Summary: Mr and Mrs Dursley of 4 Private Drive were proud of their normality. They had a perfectly normal son. Until they discovered he wasn't normal.
1. Chapter 1 - The Letters

A/N To the Guest user who's been commenting on Harry Potter and the Bite, please stop. This unknown individual has been leaving reviews insulting me. Please stop. Or at the very least use insults that actually apply to me? I'm not Japanese, but this person called me a Jap. Is that an actual offensive term? Because I usually hear it used as an insult and would like to avoid using it if it is an insult. I do not own the rights to Harry Potter.

Chapter One: The Letters

The sound of letters falling through the letterbox was the signal for the daily shout. Well, daily apart from Sunday's. "Boy! Go and get those letters!"

"Yes, Uncle Vernon" squeaked the small bespectacled boy with scruffy, black hair.

Harry James Potter jumped down from the table and ran to the hall. He picked up the letters and quickly looked through them. Vernon Dursley, looks like a bill. Vernon Dursley, another bill. Vernon Dursley, looks like a work invitation. Dudley Dursley, some sort of letter. Petunia Dursley, a woman's magazine of some sort. Harry stopped. The bright green lettering on this letter made him completely forget about all the others. Mr. Harry James Potter, The Cupboard Under The Stairs, 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey.

"BOY! THOSE LETTERS HAD BETTER BE HERE IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS!" Harry quickly went back into the kitchen and gave Uncle Vernon the letters. "What took you so long? Were you checking for letter bombs?" He laughed at his own joke.

Harry sat down and opened his letter. As he was pulling the letter out of the envelope, Dudley snatched the letter out of his hands and screamed. "MUM, DAD! HARRY'S GOT A LETTER! SOME WEIRDO SENT HARRY A LETTER!" He shoved it under his father's obese chin.

Vernon took the letter from his son and dropped the rest onto the table. No one noticed that Petunia took more than just her magazine. Vernon read the letter silently. His eyes bulged out and he passed it to Petunia. "Dudley got one too." Dudley and Vernon looked at Harry in shock. Petunia looked horrified that Harry had noticed it.

Vernon looked through the letters on the table. "No, he didn't."

Harry frowned. "I definitely saw one. 'Mr Dudley Donald Dursley, The Second Biggest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive.' It was definitely there." Harry started to check under the table.

Vernon turned to Petunia. "Petty? Was there a letter?"

Petunia sighed. "Boys, leave the room."

Dudley took offence to this. "NO! If there's a letter for me I want to read it! And the Freak's!"

Whilst Dudley had been talking, Petunia had given Vernon the letter and his face now resembled a fat tomato. "BOYS! GET OUT AT ONCE!" Both boys quickly did. The door slammed behind them.

Harry turned to Dudley. "That's the first time they've ever shouted at you." Dudley looked thoughtful for maybe the first time in his life. He quickly put his ear against the keyhole. Harry, realising what he was doing, put his ear against the crack at the bottom of the door.

"Petty, is our son a freak?"

"They only send these letters to freaks. But when Lily got her letter someone from that freak school came. Some Scottish bitch. She said that she came to explain magic to muggleborns. Muggle is their word for normal people. Muggleborns are freaks born to normal people. But if Duddikins is a freak... then maybe there was a mixup at the hospital? Maybe we got the wrong baby and the Scottish freak is going to a different house to tell them that their child is a freak? Because if a freak is born to decent people then she'd show up. And she's not here, so..."

"Maybe it's because we already know about freaks? After all, what's the point in telling someone who already knows about freaks that freaks exist? It would be like me telling you that my name is Vernon. You already know that, so it's pointless."

"Maybe if we ignore it they'll leave us alone?"

"Maybe."

Harry looked at Dudley. This was the first time he saw Dudley as a person and not a mindless bully. Dudley was blinking hard to stop Harry from seeing him cry. "I-I'm a freak?" His sadness turned to anger. "You. You made me a freak! You made me like you!"

Harry could see the danger. "I don't know what they meant. They mentioned magic and magic's not real, is it?" Dudley punched Harry in the face, muttering about freaks.

A few weeks passed, with everyone ignoring the increasing amounts of letters being sent to the house. Harry and Dudley kept trying to get one, so they could know why they were freaks. On the 31st July 1991, there was a knock at the door. "Boy. Get the door." Harry was already going before Uncle Vernon had finished speaking.

He opened the door and was shocked to see a very flamboyant Gandalf wearing shocking pink robes with a bizarre pattern. He had a beard that looked as though he had difficulty avoiding tripping over it. "Hello, may I speak with Mr and Mrs Dursley please?"

"Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia. There's someone here for you." The ostrich was the first to arrive, followed closely by the walrus and their son.

None of the Dursley's knew what to say. The stranger decided to break the ice. "My name is Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. I have come to enquire why you haven't replied to my letters, are you not receiving them?"

The name Dumbledore let them know they were dealing with a freak. "Go away, you old faggot! We don't want to deal with the likes of you! We won't pay for The Boy to go to that Freak school of yours!"

"You don't have to," said Dumbledore calmly. "Hogwarts will cover all expenses if you can't afford Dudley's education."

The effect this had on the Dursley's was instantaneous. The two adult Dursley's were terrified at Dudley and Harry becoming aware of Dudley's freakishness, something they had been prepared to ignore. Dudley's face fell as someone confirmed what he'd heard his parents talking about. Petunia spoke this time. "Our son is not. A. F-FREAK!"

"I completely agree, Mrs Dursley." This surprised Vernon, Petunia and Dudley. "No one in this room is a freak."

"The Potter Brat you dumped on us is! Just like his parents!" Vernon's chins wobbled as he shouted.

Dumbledore looked sadly at Petunia. "I think Voldemort might be alive."

The effect this had on Petunia was obvious. She was terrified. "H-he is? How?"

"I strongly suspect he used the Dark Arts to survive his body's death. There are rituals that could bring him back to life. He would go after Harry. And Harry's last surviving family."

"Petty, is this 'Moldywart' the freak that killed your sister?" Petunia nodded. "Would we be at more risk with Dudley going to this school?"

Dumbledore answered. "No, Voldemort hates muggles. Voldemort is very similar to the muggle Adolf Hitler, if you replace Jews with Muggles or Muggleborns. Can we talk about this away from the children? Not all of it will be appropriate for eleven year olds to hear."

"We can talk about it in the kitchen, I don't want my Duddikins to hear inappropriate things." Dudley scowled.

The adults went into the kitchen. The door shut and there was a locking noise. Dudley glared at a grinning Harry. "Don't say a thing," he warned. "I get the keyhole."

Dumbledore serenely glanced over his glasses at the Dursley's. "Well, what do you want to know?"

Vernon went right in. "I want to know why you Freaks didn't tell us that the Potter brat would turn our precious Dudders into a Freak!"

Before Dumbledore could respond, Petunia did. "It doesn't work like that Vernon. If it did, Lily's magic would've turned me into a witch. It didn't, though I wanted it to."

This stunned Vernon for a bit. "You, you wanted to be a witch?"

Petunia smiled ruefully. "When they got told Lily was a witch, my parents were overjoyed. They were proud to have a witch in the family. They spent even less time with me than they already did. I thought they loved Lily more. I destroyed my relationship with my sister because of it." Her eyes filled with regret. "That's not going to happen with Dudley." She looked determinedly at Vernon. "If we let Dudders go to Hogwarts, we have to stop calling witches and wizards freaks."

Vernon looked shocked. "Of course. If we called them freaks then Dudley'd think we included him in that. Alright, Dumbledore. You mentioned that Moldywank was wizard Hitler. Do a lot of people support him?"

Dumbledore looked down sadly. "Unfortunately, the wizarding world is not without its bigotry. The majority of Pureblood supremacists are Slytherins. Which is the House I fear your son will be placed in."

"Can't you just put him in a different house?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr Dursley. Your Hogwarts House is chosen by the Sorting Hat. It belonged to Godric Gryffindor, one of the schools Founders. Each of the Founders put a bit of their personality into it, so they could ensure that the students placed in their House would be the type of students they would have chosen. I play no part in the Sorting."

Both Dursley's were concerned at this. "Are there any teachers who work with the Slithering students?"

"Each House has a Head of House. The Head of Slytherin made a mistake many years ago that he would like to repent for. I feel confident that he will try to protect Dudley without revealing that he is."

The Dursley's were confused. "Why wouldn't he reveal that he is protecting Dudley from bullies?"

"Because if Voldemort returns, Severus will be my spy in his organisation."

Petunia snapped her head round at the familiar name. "Severus? As in Severus Snape? Lily's friend?"

Dumbledore glanced at Petunia. "Why, yes. Though they weren't friends at the end of Lily's life."

Petunia frowned. "Why not? Don't get me wrong; I didn't like him and I'm glad Lily stopped being friends with him, but why weren't they friends?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Severus was being bullied by a man who had yet to grow up. Lily tried to get this man to stop and Severus lashed out in anger. He called Lily a mudblood, which is a derogatory term for muggleborn. I fear Dudley will hear quite a lot of it. Professors will punish anyone who is heard using it."

Vernon looked thoughtful. "Do you people use our post?"

Dumbledore turned to Vernon. "No. We use owls to communicate."

Vernon was shocked. "Owls?"

"Yes, we write letters and give them to an owl. The owl then flies to the recipient and they receive the letter. I'm aware that you aren't fully comfortable with the existence of magic, so I will arrange a mutual acquaintance of ours to deliver them."

Vernon was suspicious. "Mutual acquaintance?"

"Mrs Figg is a squib. That is, a non magic person born to two magical people."

"Oh, so the opposite of a muggleborn?" Vernon asked, using his limited experience of magic to explain this.

"Precisely. Oh, you will have a large backlog of money you should have been receiving for raising Harry."

Vernon's mouth went dry. "What?"

"Lily and James Potter left a vault of money to be used by whoever raised Harry. It is intended to be used for raising Harry. You would have had access to it by going to Diagon Alley. Which is where you'll have to go to buy the boys school equipment."

"How do we get there?"

"At Charing Cross Road in London there is a pub called the Leaky Cauldron. It can only be seen by muggles if they are touching a witch or wizard. I will meet you there tomorrow and you will be let in."

Then Vernon realised a potential problem. "We've already arranged for Dudley to go to Smeltings Academy."

"Write to them and inform them that Dudley has been allowed a place in an exclusive Private School in Scotland and that you regretfully must remove him from their school. Oh, before I go, I should warn you. Harry is a little bit famous due to Voldemort dying after trying to kill Harry." Both Dursley's were shocked. "I bid you adieu." He opened the door and two inquisitive children fell into the kitchen. "Oh, yes. I put up sound proofing spells to prevent eavesdropping. Have a nice day."

 **1st August 1991, 10:35 AM**

"So, when you two see a pub called 'The Leaky Cauldron', I want Harry to hold my hand and Dudley to hold Vernon's."

After a short walk down Charing Cross Road, Harry's hand grabbed his Aunt Petunia's. Dudley looked surprised and looked around. "Where is it? I can't - oh, there it is." His hand then grabbed his dads hand. Vernon saw a broken down shop turn into an old fashioned pub.

"Well, I'll be damned." The Dursley's and Harry entered the pub. They looked around and saw Dumbledore in a corner with a drink.

They were about to step towards Dumbledore, when a voice called over to them. "Wotcha, do ya want aahhht ter Tiddley Wink?"

Vernon frowned. "Excuse me?"

The man rolled his eyes. "Do ya want a drink?"

Vernon answered the man behind the bar. "No, we've got to meet up with Dumbledore." Unfortunately, the man behind the bar was not blind.

"Bless me soul, it's 'arry Potter!" The effect this had on the room was electrifying. Everyone in the room stopped talking and turned to face their saviour. Dumbledore closed his eyes and sighed. The room surged towards Harry and everyone shook his hand.

The sixth man to approach Harry was different to the rest. He was drunk. Amycus Carrow was neither wealthy, nor politically powerful. This had been to his and his sisters advantage when Voldemort was defeated. No one realised they were Death Eaters. However, their lives were a lot worse now. No one was under his power. He only had his sister to keep him company in bed. This was his chance to destroy the bastard that ruined his life. "'Arry Potter. The Boy-'oo-Lived. You bastard! _AVADA KED_ -"

Luckily for Harry, Dumbledore had gotten up to save him and the Dursley's from dealing with Harry's fans. Upon hearing the cuss word, he prepared to stun Carrow. He silently cast a very powerful _Stupefy_. Carrow' unconscious body was thrown into a beer tap. "I'm very sorry that happened. Our trip will have to be delayed whilst we wait for the Aurors to arrive." He realised that they didn't know what Aurors were. "Aurors are wizard police officers and soldiers rolled into one. Harry, Dudley and I will have to give statements." Dumbledore sent a silvery bird out of the pub.

Vernon frowned. "Why don't Petty and I have to give statements? And why are the police being called?"

Dumbledore's face took on an expression of distaste. "Because you're muggles. The wizarding world won't count you as reliable witnesses. Squibs are allowed to give evidence because they were raised to be wizards and are thought to have a better grasp of how the wizarding world works. Muggles are considered as little more than smart animals. And the spell that that man was saying was the Killing Curse. That was an attempted murder." The Dursley's and Harry were shocked into silence. A group of people wearing badges on casual clothes then entered the pub.

"What happened here, Dumbledore?" Asked a tall, black man with an earring.

"Yeah, what've you done now?" An overweight, balding man with greasy, black hair asked.

"Emil, I have done nothing wrong. Kingsley, Mr Carrow approached young Harry here and called him a bastard. He then attempted to cast the Killing Curse at Mr Potter. Halfway through the Curse, I non-verbally cast a powerful _Stupefy_. He was thrown into a beer tap."

The man behind the bar joined the conversation. "It's true, I'd asked 'arry Potter's family if they wanted aahhht ter Tiddley Wink. Upon realisin' that they were wiv 'arry Potter, I alerted the va va voom at large, by accident through me shock, that 'arry Potter was 'ere. People started ter shake Mr Potter's St. Martins-Le-Grand, until Carra came up and did wot Dumbledore said."

Auror Hostina looked at the man. "The fuck does that mean?"

"Oi, Kettle and 'ob your thumb-suckin' language, ya custard an' jelly Berkshire 'unt! There's children 'ere!" It was clear that no one understood what he'd just said. "Basically, old Dumble's was tellin' the truth."

The Aurors got statements from all of the people there, not realising that there were two muggles present, before taking Carrow to a ministry holding cell.

Dumbledore led Harry and the Dursley's out of the Leaky Cauldron. "I'm really sorry that had to be your introduction to the wizarding world. I'm even sorrier that I have to leave you now. I have some important business at Hogwarts to attend to. However, I will leave you in the capable hands of Hagrid. He will meet you in Gringotts after he's finished buying some items in Knockturn Alley. You will know who he is when you see him." Dumbledore tapped several bricks on a wall and it opened. The Dursley's and Harry entered Diagon Alley.

None of them said a word for two minutes and thirty-eight seconds. And forty-two milliseconds, if you want to get extremely precise. Petunia and Vernon were frozen by fear. Fear of the magic. All of the freaks wandering about, selling books on who knows what. At approximately two minutes ten seconds, the breathed in deeply. They had promised themselves that they could deal with it. For Dudley's sake. Whilst his parents came to terms with magic, Dudley stared in shock. None of the sights he saw were normal. He'd been raised to believe that normal was the only way to be. Anything that wasn't normal was to be looked down upon. But on the other hand, if he was a wizard, then he wasn't normal. Plus: that shop with that broomstick everyone was looking at looked pretty cool. He could see some balls next to the broom. If they had a sport, maybe he could play it! After all, he'd sitting down; how hard could it be to play this Quidditch? And was that a sweet shop? And an ice cream parlour?! Maybe he could get used to being a wizard. Harry was completely different. He was awestruck. All these colourful sights and smells! A wide grin split his face. He was home.

After Vernon and Petunia had gotten a hold of themselves, Vernon loudly exclaimed, "Right! Let's get on with it. This Hagrid fellow's supposed to be meeting us at Gringotts! Whatever that is. Let's not dawdle." Then he leaned down to Harry. "Cover that scar, boy. Otherwise we'll get all sorts of people talking to us and we might not have time to get everything." Harry quickly smoothed his hair down as well as possible, whilst Dudley asked if they could get ice cream. "If we have time and you're both good, we can get ice cream." They set off down the street.

Vernon had no idea where to find this Gringotts place. He noticed a square-jawed woman with a monocle running down the street and decided to ask her. "Excuse me, ma'am. Where could I find Gringotts?"

The woman shot him a look of annoyance that made him wonder if he was going to be turned into a frog. "Continue down the street, it's the big white building that says Gringotts Wizarding Bank. You can't miss it." With that, she ran off to wherever she was going to.

Vernon perked up a bit after hearing that Gringotts was a bank. Here was a bit of normality in the insanity of wizards. They quickly found the bank and entered it. Upon realising that the bank tellers were goblins, Vernon nearly had an aneurism. Not long after that, a man twice the size of Vernon entered the bank. "Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to be Hagrid, would you?"

The man grinned. "Dumbledore told yeh I'd be easily recognisable, huh?" The Dursley's and Harry nodded. The man now identified as Hagrid laughed. "Come on, let's get you some money out."

Vernon then questioned him. "Yes, I was wondering about that. I can't see any ATM's here?"

Hagrid looked back at Vernon. "ATM's? Are those those muggle things to get money off of plastic cards?" Vernon nodded. "They don' have those here. If you wan' to exchange money, yeh've go' ta bring in muggle money."

"You have your own currency?"

"Yeah, of course."

Petunia spoke up for the first time. "That man, Dumbledore, told us that we were allowed money to look after Harry. Would we be allowed to use some of that to pay for Dudley's school things? We won't be able to pay for it otherwise. We can use our own money to pay it back and we'll use our own money to pay for Dudley's stuff next year." It was clear to see that Vernon wasn't happy with having to pay the money back.

Hagrid was oblivious to Vernon's annoyance. "Dumbledore told me abou' tha'. He told me to tell yeh tha' you can use the money to spend on essentials for Harry, food, clothing, a bed, so on. He told me tha' yeh can also use it ta pay for yer sons school equipment. Shall we git going?" Hagrid took Harry down to the vaults to take some money out. Vernon and Petunia were worried for their safety. Obviously they didn't let Dudley go.

Hagrid suggested they get wands for Harry and Dudley first. Hagrid opened the door to the dusty shop for Harry and the Dursley's. Vernon looked around and couldn't see anyone. "Haven't these people ever heard of customer service?"

"Good afternoon." Everyone jumped. The shop shook from the combined weight of Hagrid, Vernon and Dudley landing on the floor.

"Hello," said Harry, awkwardly.

"Ah, yes. I've been expecting you Mr Potter. I remember when your parents came here to get their wands." The man smiled in reminiscence. "You mothers wand was ten and a quarter inches. Swishy, made of willow. It was good for charm work. Your fathers, on the other hand, was eleven inches. Made of mahogany. Pliable. A bit more powerful and magnificent for transfiguration."

Dudley felt left out. "I want my wand."

Mr Ollivander turned to Dudley, slightly disdainfully. Luckily, only Harry noticed. "Hmmm. I think I know precisely the wand for you." He pulled out a wand and gave it to Dudley. He immediately took it back. "Nope. No. I want to continue to live. How about this?" The next wand, chestnut with a dragon heartstring core, was declared perfect for him. He then proceeded to try many wands for Harry before he gave Harry the wand that was the brother of the one that gave Harry his scar.

Petunia declared they should get them uniforms next, so they could get a picture of them in their school uniforms. Everyone could tell that she only wanted one of Dudley, but wanted to be nicer to Harry. As they walked towards Madam Malkin's, Harry spoke up. "Hagrid... why aren't first years allowed brooms?"

Hagrid chuckled. "Tha's owin' ta yer father and his f- and another firs' year. Yer father brought a broom ta school. He was a bit o' a troublemaker. All the teachers liked him and were infuriated by him. I know McGonagall has claimed he's the reason she looks as ol' as she does. Er, don' tell her tha'."

"Why? What did my dad do?"

Hagrid smiled fondly. "Ev'rythin' it's possible ta do on a broom. Although, a couple o' red-headed twins managed ta ge' a broom inta Hogwarts in their firs' year." Hagrid started to tell them some details, when Petunia interrupted, stating that she didn't want Hagrid to give Harry any ideas.

When they entered Madam Malkin's, there was a girl with blonde hair being measured for her Hogwarts uniform. Harry and Dudley quickly began to get measured. The girl turned to them and started talking. "Hello, my names Susan."

Dudley was the more confident of the two. "Hello Susan. My name's Dudley and this is Harry. Where are your parents? I'm sure my mum and dad would like to speak to some of my class mates parents."

Susan's face took on a melancholy look. "They died in the war. I live with my auntie. She had to go to the Ministry to deal with a problem a drunk caused in the Leaky Cauldron." She looked resigned to her guardian leaving suddenly.

"Oh, sorry. That was my fault. Someone tried to kill me." The tailors stopped and everyone in the room stared at Harry.

Susan glanced at Harry's forehead. "You're Harry Potter," she observed. "Maybe the man who tried to kill you was a Death Eater!" She was getting excited. "My auntie always said she thought some got away! Maybe she can get some evidence to put some more in Azkaban!"

Vernon opened his mouth, but Petunia quickly explained that Azkaban was the wizard prison. At Susan's confused glance, Petunia explained that Vernon and her were muggles, but her sister was a witch and mentioned Azkaban. Vernon spoke. "Does your auntie wear a monocle?"

"Yes, I assume you saw her."

"Yes, she was running down the street towards the Leaky Cauldron. She looked like a respectable person."

Susan gave him a curious glance, but nothing more. "Well, can I tag along with you guys? My auntie will be busy with that man for quite a while and it would be good to have some friends before going to Hogwarts." Dudley confirmed that she could come with them to get their stuff. She was able to help them get their books, since she'd got them before going to get her uniform. Dudley convinced his parents to let him get several books on Curses. When they got to the potioneers, Dudley asked for a solid gold cauldron. Hagrid quickly pointed out that Snape would give him a hard enough time without a gold cauldron being thrown into the mix.

At the end of the day, Susan told Harry and Dudley that she'd look for them on the train and they said goodbye.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Sorting

A/N This chapter should have gone out before now, but fanfiction dot net was down for me. As in I couldn't upload new chapters. I could still read other fanfics. I managed to get it to work by downloading the app. Hopefully this is good, I haven't used the app before. I know exactly what I want to happen in the next chapter of Harry Potter and the Bite, but I don't know how to make it long enough to be a chapter. I'm also having difficulty focusing on it and not other stories I'm thinking of. I'm going to put HPATB on hold for a bit and focus on this and maybe a different story I've thought of. I do not own the rights to Harry Potter. I wish I did.

Chapter 2 - The Sorting

1st September 1991 8:45 AM Kings Cross Station

Vernon Dursley was cursing the names of Dumbledore and Hagrid. He hadn't bothered looking at the tickets Hagrid had given him, assuming that everything would be in order. But, no. The wizards had to have their train on a platform that doesn't even exist! And clearly they don't care enough about normal people to have wizards posing as station guards.

"Dad, we're gonna be late for the train!"

"I know, but they didn't tell us how to get on the platform! I'll be sending Dumbledore a strongly worded letter through Arabella." A redheaded woman stopped next to them.

"Excuse me, did you say Dumbledore?"

Vernon's heart leapt. "Yes! Do you know how to get on to Platform Nine and Three Quarters?" The woman shushed him.

"Not so loud. Yes, I do. Is it your children's first year?"

"Yes. Dudley's letter was a surprise, but we knew our nephew would get one. His parents were both magical. How do we get onto the platform?"

"You walk into the ticket barrier between platforms nine and ten. Percy, you go first. Show these nice people how to get through."

"Yes, mother." The oldest child, who was apparently called Percy, walked quickly towards the barrier. Instead of crashing into it, he went through it as if it wasn't there.

"Dudley, Harry. We will say goodbye to you here." Both children looked at Vernon. "I'm not quite ready to deal with doing stuff like this and I don't think Petunia is either." Petunia quickly confirmed that she wasn't. "Be good. Do well in your classes. Harry, if Dudley goes into Slytherin, protect him from any bigots. Dudley, your mother and I love you very much." The red headed woman scowled at Vernon for the implication that he didn't love Harry.

Harry and Dudley went through the barrier and were amazed at the platform they arrived on. Dudley looked around. "Wow."

"Dudley! Harry!" They looked in the direction of the voice calling out their names and saw Susan hanging out of a window waving at them. They quickly made their way into the train and went to her compartment where they discovered two others to be there. "Harry, Dudley, this is Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley." A blonde girl with pigtails waved at them. The curly haired blond boy next to her stood up and pompously shook both of their hands.

"Hello, chaps. As Susan said, my name is Justin Finch-Fletchley. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." He smiled at them. They looked confused.

"What are you, gay?" Susan and Hannah both immediately started shushing Dudley.

"Don't say that!" Susan admonished him. "Being gay is still illegal in the wizarding world!" Justin was shocked.

"It is?" Hannah nodded.

"Yeah, my uncle was gay. He was arrested for it back in '78. He died in Azkaban the year after You-Know-Who was defeated by Harry Potter." Dudley and Harry had only ever known the word gay as an insult. They both resolved to ask someone what it actually was later. The train started to leave the station.

"Hannah? You know that Harry Potter is starting Hogwarts this year?" Hannah nodded, confused. Justin and Susan were both smirking at Hannah's confusion. They both clearly knew Harry's last name. Susan continued. "And you know that Harry Potter's mother was a muggleborn? And that her sister, Petunia, married a muggle called Vernon?"

Hannah looked very confused. "I didn't know about her sister, but I knew she was muggleborn. What of it?"

"Well, after that Halloween, Harry Potter went to live with his aunt, uncle and their son, his cousin. And Harry and Dudley here just happen to be cousins." Harry and Dudley started smirking as well.

Hannah frowned and opened her mouth. Then her eyes opened wide and she glanced at Harry's forehead very obviously. "You're Harry Potter!"

"I know."

"You're THE Harry Potter!"

"And you're THE Hannah Abbott." They would've continued teasing Hannah had the door not been opened just then.

"I hear Harry Potter's on the train. Is he in here?" The compartment looked up at the slender boy with blond slicked back hair flanked by two large boys. The blonds grey eyes glanced at Harry's forehead briefly. "So, it's true. Harry Potter is coming to Hogwarts this year. Who are your friends?" He sneered slightly on the last word.

"Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott, Justin Finch-Fletchley and my cousin, Dudley." Harry pointed to each of them in turn.

"Finch-Fletchley? I don't recall that being a wizarding family name?"

"Well, that would be because my parents are both muggles. It was such a shock when my letter arrived."

The blond sneered. "Harry, you'll find that some wizarding families are better than others. The Bones' and Abbott's are some of the bad ones. My family, the Malfoy's, are one of the good ones. I can help you know which are good." He held his hand out for Harry to shake. "Here's a hint: families that associate with Mudblood's like Finch-Fletchley and your cousin are bad to associate with." Susan and Hannah were in uproar.

"How dare you! You foul, loathsome ghoul groper! The arrest of the Carrow's must have scared your father. How much has he paid to avoid Azkaban now? It's got to be at least ten thousand Galleons by now, Malfoy!"

Malfoy glared at Susan. "That is insulting, Bones. It is a matter of public record that my father was put under the Imperius Curse in the war. Quite honestly, I think you are a disgrace to Purebloods everywhere! Associating with Mudbloods and relatives of faggots! You should be ashamed!" Dudley didn't take kindly to someone insulting the first magical person who had been friendly to him. He didn't know what Mudblood meant, but he gathered it was insulting towards him and Justin. Malfoy was about to start ranting again when Dudley's fist shut him up.

The two trolls were obviously not going to just stand there. They moved forwards to defend their leader. Dudley's fist hit the right one in the chin at the same time as the right one's fist hit him in the eye. "Yeah, get 'im Greg!" Cried out the other troll in a surprisingly soft voice. Harry couldn't let Dudley take both of them on by himself. Luckily, he'd learnt from Dudley's gang. He knew, from personal experience, that the privates were a painful place to be hit. He darted in quickly and punched the troll as hard as he could in the privates. The troll screeched in pain and lashed out with his knee, hitting Harry in the face. He hit his head on the table behind hit hard. Harry looked up blearily at the troll who was advancing on him. He could feel something warm and wet trickling down his head. The troll was protecting his attacked area, with his other hand clenched in a fist. A pinkish blur came out of nowhere and hit the troll in the face, causing him to hit his head against the wall. The troll now identified as 'Greg' grabbed Dudley by his t-shirt and threw him into the opposite wall before jumping on him and punching him repeatedly. The other troll quickly joined in.

"Oi!" Three of the red heads Harry had seen get on the station, as well as a black boy with dreadlocks who Harry remembered has a tarantula, pulled the trolls off of Dudley. Dudley punched and kicked both of the trolls until two other older boys came over and pulled Dudley away from them. The older one asked what was going on.

"Thank you, Truman, Hilliard. That is exactly what I want to know." The eldest red head looked directly at the trolls and Dudley sternly. Greg's robes were ripped and his nose was bleeding profusely. Dudley's face was a mass of bruises, his t-shirt was ripped, his lips were split in multiple places and his nose looked to be broken. The unnamed troll had a small cut on his forehead from hitting it against the wall, as well as a growing bruise on his cheek.

Malfoy got up and sneered. The effect was ruined by the blood dripping down his face from his nose. "Da Mudblood darded id. I was exblaining how da world worked do Podder when oud of nowhere, da Mudblood bunched me in da face."

"It wasn't out of nowhere!" Everyone looked at Susan. "Granted, it could have been considered an overreaction, but it was provoked. Malfoy was calling both Justin and Dudley Mudblood's as well as telling me I should be ashamed because I was associating with them."

"My head hurts." Everyone looked down at Harry for the first time since the fight. The red head with a badge asked him what had happened. "Malfoy was telling me that I'd do better to associate with him rather than my cousin and three people who had been nice to me. I was about to tell him that I'd prefer not to hang out with someone who insulted my family, when Dudley got fed up with the insults and punched Malfoy in the face. The guy being held by your brothers punched Dudley in the eye, which made Dudley have to start fighting him and the guy held by you. I wanted to help my cousin out, so I punched the guy held by you in the privates. He then kneed me in the face and I hit the back of my head on the table and now it really hurts." He rubbed his hand against the back of his head. When it came away it was red. Everyone was shocked at the sight of blood. The oldest boy, who was wearing a badge saying Headboy, turned to Justin and asked him what happened next.

"The chap being held by those two," he pointed towards the oldest red head and the boy with dreadlocks, "walked towards Harry threateningly. Then Dudley struck him across the face. That boy, Greg I think his name is, seized Dudley by his t-shirt and pulled him backwards, throwing him into the wall. I believe that is when his t-shirt ripped. Both of those two boys started pummelling Dudley mercilessly. That was when those four came over and pulled them off. You and your companion arrived shortly after."

The Headboy looked over all of them. "Full names all of you. Even those who didn't fight."

"Susan Eleanor Bones."

"Hannah Alice Abbott."

"Justin Edward Finch-Fletchley."

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, Heir to the Most Noble and Ancient Houses of Malfoy and Black."

"Gregory Joshua Goyle, Heir to the Noble House of Goyle."

"Vincent Richard Crabbe, Heir to the Ancient House of Crabbe."

"Dudley Donald Dursley."

"Harry James Potter." The older boys stared at Harry. All of their gazed drifted to his forehead. To the scar.

The oldest red head, who Harry vaguely remembered being called something like Perry, spoke. "Harry James Potter? As in, Harry James Potter, Heir to the Most Noble and Ancient House of Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived? That Harry James Potter?"

Harry blinked. "Er, I guess so? I didn't know about that Heir stuff. But if you say so..." Perry and his brothers looked impressed. So did the other older boys.

The Headboy made a decision. "Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Dursley. Detention for a week. Potter. One detention. Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle. Find an empty compartment on the opposite side of the carriage." The Headboy cast some spells on the back of Harry's head. His head stopped hurting and the blood disappeared from his hair. The Headboy cast the same spells on Dudley, Malfoy and Goyle. Perry repaired Goyle's robes and Dudley's t-shirt with a wave of his wand and escorted a sneering Malfoy and his thugs from the compartment.

The rest of the trip passed without incident. A boy called Neville asked if they'd seen his toad. They told him they hadn't, but would keep an eye out for it. Susan and Hannah introduced the boys to a game called exploding snap. Dudley proved to be quite good at it. Later, whilst everyone except Dudley was nursing burnt fingers, a curly haired brunette entered and asked them if they'd seen a toad. Again, they told her they hadn't. She then noticed Harry's scar and launched into a speech about every book that included Harry's name. It was clear that Harry was a bit uncomfortable with his name being practically worshipped. She left shortly afterwords telling them that they were nearly there and should get changed. Susan and Hannah went outside whilst the boys got changed. Once the boys were changed, they went outside to let the girls get changed. The girls opened the door to let them know they were done and the started a new game of exploding snap.

Dudley looked at the two girls. "What does Mudblood mean?" The girls stared at Dudley. Hannah swore and threw her cards away as they exploded.

Susan's face took on a disgusted look. "Mudblood is one of the worst words known to magical kind. It is an insult to muggleborns. It basically suggests that your blood is filthy because your parents are muggles. Only the worst sort of magical people use it. Harry, you know that guy who tried to kill you? He was a Death Eater. He implicated multiple other Death Eaters. They were all arrested. Except for Macnair, a close personal friend of Malfoy's father. And Malfoy Senior made a generous 'donation' to the Ministry at the same time as the arrest warrant for Macnair was being written. The Minister then annulled the warrant. Definitely no bribery. I don't know what you're talking about. Malfoy Senior, according to my Auntie, is definitely a Death Eater." Dudley asked what a Death Eater was. "People who followed You-Know-Who. They think muggleborns are terrible and worthless and that Purebloods are practically gods. Far too many of them got off scot-free after the War. Paid a lot of bribes." A magically amplified voice rang through the train announcing that they had arrived at Hogsmeade Station.

Harry, Dudley, Justin, Hannah and Susan looked around for where they were supposed to go. "Firs' years! Firs' years over 'ere! 'Ello 'Arry, Dudley!" Harry and Dudley smiled and waved to the friendly giant. "E'ryone 'ere? Who's toad is this?" The boy they'd seen earlier yelled out the name Trevor and ran forward. Hagrid chuckled. "Awrigh', four to a boat."

Susan looked at the rest of them. "There's five of us. Two of us should get a different boat so that none of us are without someone we know. Hannah and I have been friends for a long time, so we want to share. Harry and Dudley, you're cousins, so I assume you want to share. Justin, who's boat do you want to share?"

Before Justin could answer, Dudley joined the conversation. "Um, I think Harry and I should get different boats. My parents were scared of magic and didn't always treat Harry that well. I used to be a bit of a bully. I think Harry would rather not have to deal with that."

No one knew how to deal with Dudley's honesty. "Uh... Harry with me, Dudley with Susan? Justin, who do you want to go with?"

"I think I shall go with Susan and Dudley. It took a lot of honesty to admit that, Dudley. I respect that. And it is obvious to see that you regret that part of your life." They went into separate boats.

"Hannah hates me now, doesn't she?"

Susan looked at Dudley. "No, she's probably just checking to see if you and Harry are on good terms now."

"Excuse me my good sirs and madam, but may I share your boat to the castle?" The three nodded. The boy introduced himself as Ernest Macmillan.

Hannah was looking at Harry. She was concerned. "Harry are you ok? Are you and Dudley... on good terms now? Or is he still an arsehole?"

Harry smiled at Hannah. "He's making an effort to be nice to me. I'm not sure whether that's because his parents are doing the same, because they told him to or because I set a snake on him."

"You set a snake on him?"

"Yeah, on his birthday this year we, his parents, him, his friend and I, we went to the zoo. My usual babysitter had broken her leg, so they had to let me come along. We were in the reptile house and I was talking to a snake. Piers, Dudley's friend, shouted to Dudley that the snake, which had previously just laid there, was moving. Dudley pushed me out of the way and pressed his face up against the glass. Then the glass wasn't there. Dudley was terrified. The snake escaped."

Hannah looked thoughtful. "When you say you spoke to the snake, did it understand you? And did you understand it?"

"Well, yeah. As it was leaving it said thanks to me and said it was going to Brazil. Why?"

"Tell no one else about that. If anyone else finds out, they will think you are evil. They will think you are You-Know-Who's secret love child or something." Before Harry could respond to this strange request, they were joined by two others.

"Hi, I'm Ron. Ron Weasley. Oi, didn't my family help yours get onto the Platform? What's your name again? Harvey, was it?" Harry corrected him. "Oh, right. Yeah. Harry." He turned to Hannah. "And what's your name?"

"Hannah Abbott." She turned to the other boy. "Sorry, I recall you telling me your name, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was?"

"Neville Longbottom." They four chatted as the boats left. Everyone in every boat stopped talking when the castle came into view. Talk soon turned to how they would be Sorted.

"A troll. We have to fight a troll. My older brothers told me. They're third years, twins. Both play Beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Do you guys like Quidditch? What teams do you support?"

"Go back a bit, troll? We have to fight a troll? Jesus Christ!" Harry ran his hand through his hair to help him relax. Unfortunately, Ron noticed the scar.

"Bloody Hell! You're Harry Potter! Do you remember what You-Know-Who looked like? What's it like being famous? What Quidditch team do you support? I support the Chudley Cannons, best team ever!"

Hannah snickered. "The Cannons? Best team ever? Haven't they come last in every Quidditch League for the last forty years?"

"No! They came twelfth four years ago."

"That's second to last. Still not exactly the best team ever."

"Shut up!"

"Can we go back to the troll fight, please?!?" Harry was annoyed that no one seemed to take the troll fight seriously.

Hannah turned to him. "Relax, even I know the reputation of the Weasley twins and I haven't even started Hogwarts yet. They told Ron a fib to make him panic. All we've got to do is put the Sorting Hat on our head, it'll read our minds and tell us where we should go based on our personalities." Talk stayed on Quidditch for the rest of the boat ride with Hannah saying she supported the Holyhead Harpies and Neville expressing interest in the Falmouth Falcons.

Once they got to the castle, the were taken to a room with a stern woman in it. "Dursley, Potter, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle. Stay behind after the feast. I will escort you all to Madam Pomfrey to get a quick check up. I will discuss your punishment with you there." She then introduced herself as Professor McGonagall and told them she was the Deputy Headmistress before launching into a speech about their Houses being their family. She then left. They waited a few minutes, being terrified by a group of ghosts floating into the room, before she returned and escorted them all into the Great Hall. The Sorting Hat sang a song before the Sorting began.

"Abbott, Hannah."

Hannah stepped forward. "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Bones, Susan."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Boot, Terrence."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Brocklehurst, Amanda."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Brown, Lavender."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Bulstrode, Millicent."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Corner, Michael."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Cornfoot, Stephen."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Crabbe, Vincent."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Davis, Tracy."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Dursley, Dudley." Dudley walked up to the stool and sat down. The Hat was placed on his head.

"Ah. This is tricky. You would do well in Slytherin, if it wasn't for the very strong muggleborn prejudice. So, where to put you? You're not overly brave, you're not intelligent. No offence. You've seen two of your friends be put into Hufflepuff. Yes... you could stand to learn the values of hard work and fairness. Even your loyalty could do with being strengthened. You would be best placed in HUFFLEPUFF!" The last word was shouted to the entire hall. Dudley took off the Hat and went to sit down next to his two new friends.

"Entwhistle, Kevin."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Finch-Fletchley, Justin."

"HUFFLEPUFF!" Dudley clapped loudly for his third friend joining his new House.

"Finnigan, Seamus."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Goldstein, Anthony."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Goyle, Gregory."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Granger, Hermione."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Greengrass, Daphne."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Hopkins, Wayne."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Jones, Megan."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Li, Sue."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Longbottom, Neville."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Macmillan, Ernest."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"MacDougal, Morag."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Malfoy, Draco." This was greeted with several boos as he swaggered up to the Sorting Hat. The Hat put him in Slytherin almost before it touched his head.

"Malone, Roger."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Moon, Lily."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Nott, Theodore."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Parkinson, Pansy."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Patil, Padma."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Patil, Parvati."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Perks, Sally-Anne."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Potter, Harry."

"Ha! Another one who would do well in Slytherin who I can't place there! However, you were brave enough to go somewhere you knew you would be hated, for someone you don't even like. Therefore it can't be anywhere but GRYFFINDOR!"

The Weasley twins then got on the table and danced, singing "WE GOT POTTER, WE GOT POTTER!"

When the Hall finally quietened down, after easily five minutes, Professor McGonagall continued, giving the Weasley twins dirty looks. "Rivers, Oliver."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Roper, Sophie."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Runcorn, Terrance."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Smith, Sally."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Smith, Zacharias."

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Thomas, Dean."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Turpin, Lisa."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Weasley, Ronald."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Zabini, Blaise."

"SLYTHERIN!"

Dumbledore stood up. "Welcome to Hogwarts. And to those of us returning, welcome back. I'm sure those of you third year and above will remember Professor Quirrell." He gestured to a teacher to his right. The man stood up and bowed his turban-clothed head. "Professor Quirrell has returned from his sabbatical and, instead of retaking his Muggle Studies job, will become the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. And now, let us feast!"

Dudley's eyes lit up at the vast variety of food on offer. He managed to stuff his plate with everything available. It was quickly shovelled down his throat. He ignored the disgusted looks he was getting. He grabbed seconds and was about to get thirds when the food disappeared. His eyes lit up again when it was replaced with every sweet food known to man. Again, he grabbed one of everything. He grabbed multiple slices of chocolate gateau. Then, the feast came to an end.

Dumbledore stood up. "Now that we are all fed, I have some notices to say. Once again, I have been asked by Mr Filch to remind you of the many banned items. The full list can be found on his door. I believe it contains 325 items now. The Forbidden Forest is exactly that. Forbidden. I would ask you all to refrain from entering the forest." His eyes twinkled at a pair of redheaded twins. "I would also like to impress upon you all that the third floor corridor is out of bounds to all who do not wish to die a most painful death."

Dudley laughed at what he assumed was a joke. He then noted the serious expression of those around him. He turned to an older boy sitting next to him. He remembered him being the Headboy who was on the train. "He's not serious, is he?"

"Must be. He usually gives us a good reason to not do something."

Dumbledore spoke again. "Now then, let us sing the Hogwarts song." He waved his wand and words sprang into being above his head. "Any tune you like, please." Dudley, like everyone else in the school, sang along. After the redheaded twins had finished their slow funeral march, Dumbledore wiped a tear from his eye. "Ah, music. Such a great form of magic. Goodnight."

Professor McGonagall stood up. "May I remind Draco Malfoy, Gregory Goyle, Vincent Crabbe, Harry Potter and Dudley Dursley that you have to stay behind." Dudley groaned. He'd hoped she'd forget. After the hall was empty of all but those five, Professor McGonagall escorted all of them to the hospital wing. "Poppy, make sure all of them are alright." The matron cast a few spells on them and asked Harry to stay the night. She said the Slytherins could go. She wanted to have a word with Dudley. Professor Snape and Professor Sprout had followed them into the hospital wing. Professor Snape escorted his charges to the Slytherin common rooms.

Madam Pomfrey looked sternly at Dudley. "Mr Dursley. There is no nice way to say this. You are obese. Morbidly so. I'm afraid you will need to go on a diet. I will also arrange for a Weight-Loss Potion to be delivered to your nightstand every night for two weeks. I expect you to drink it. You shall have no more than one course of food a day. You may have dessert, but only one. The House-Elves tell me that you had no less than seventeen desserts tonight. All on one plate. That is not healthy. If you cannot control yourself, I will be forced to confine you to the Hospital Wing. Are we clear, Mr Dursley?" Dudley nodded. "You may go." Professor Sprout escorted Dudley from the room. Madam Pomfrey turned to Harry. "As for you Mr Potter. You need to eat more food. I am prescribing you with Nutrition Potions for the same length of time as Mr Dursley. You also have a concussion. Drink this and go to sleep."

Professor McGonagall turned to Harry. "The password to the Gryffindor Common Room is Caput Draconis. Goodnight. Try to stay out of trouble, Mr Potter." Harry downed the potion Madam Pomfrey had given him.

Dudley was following Professor Sprout. She was leading him down a corridor in the basement. They turned left at a large picture of a bowl of fruit. "Mr Dursley, I am going to tell you one of the worst kept secrets of Hufflepuff. If you tickle the pear on that painting, you can access the kitchens. Given your diet, I am going to tell the House Elves not to give you any unhealthy food." She stopped in front of a wall of barrels. "This is the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room, commonly nicknamed the Badgers Den. Wand out. I need to see that you can do this. You tap this barrel in the rhythm of Helga Hufflepuff, like so. Hel-ga Huff-le-puff." She tapped her wand on the barrel as she said each syllable. The barrel opened revealing a passageway. Professor Sprout quickly closed it. "Now you do it. If you tap the wrong barrel or tap the wrong rhythm, you will be doused in vinegar. I suggest you get it right."

Dudley pointed his wand at the barrel she had tapped. "He-l-ga Huff-le-puff." Dudley suddenly smelt terrible and was soaking in vinegar. "Argh, that's disgusting!" With a wave of her wand, Professor Sprout removed the vinegar. "Thanks. Hel-ga Huff-le-puff." Dudley was drenched in vinegar once more.

"You got the right rhythm this time," observed Professor Sprout. "However, you tapped the wrong barrel."

Dudley was quite annoyed at this point. "Well, how the Hell are you supposed to know which one is the right one? It's bullshit!"

Professor Sprout took ten points from Hufflepuff. "Swearing is not allowed at Hogwarts, Mr Dursley. The correct barrel is two from the bottom, middle of the second row." Dudley found the correct barrel and repeated the rhythm. The door swung open. "Well done, Mr Dursley. Five points to Hufflepuff, for quick learning." She waved her wand and the vinegar disappeared.

Dudley swelled with pride. "Thank you, Professor." Professor Sprout gestured for Dudley to go first. He had to crawl for a bit but the passageway quickly became large enough to fit a horse and carriage through. Dudley pushed open another door and grinned as he saw Susan, Hannah, Justin and another boy waiting for him. Ernest, he'd said his name was. The Prefects were also standing nearby. Everyone else had gone to bed.

The oldest two Prefects stepped forwards. "Hello, my name is Gabriel Truman and this is Tiffany Shaw. She is the other seventh year Prefect. I am the Headboy, so if you have any problems whatsoever, please bring them to me. You can also talk to Corey Morgan and Cynthia Allen, the sixth year Prefect aand Bryan Pearson and Andrea Cunningham, the fifth year Prefects." He gestured to each Prefect in turn. "The rules for Hufflepuff House are pretty simple. Work hard. Have your fellow students backs. Try not to swear. Zero tolerance for bullying. Other than that, just try not to lose Hufflepuff House too many House points. Any questions?"

Dudley took a deep breath. Time to make amends. "I don't have any questions, but I would like to say something. The Sorting Hat told me he was putting me in Hufflepuff not because I had all the attributes of a Hufflepuff, but because I need to learn the attributes of Hufflepuff. I have also not always been nice to my cousin. In fact, I've been downright horrible to my cousin. I think most people my age in Little Whinging would consider me a bully. I would not blame them. Please help me become a better person."

Truman looked thoughtful for a moment. "One of the House attributes is honesty. You clearly have that in abundance. It can't have been easy for you to admit that. I respect that. I will, of course, help you to be a nicer person. We will not let a Hufflepuff be a bully; it's against our nature."

Ernest stepped forwards. "I went into the boys dormitory earlier and this potion was on your bedside table." He held out a light blue potion.

"Thanks. It's a Weight-Loss Potion. Madam Pomfrey said I have to take them for two weeks. And I have to cut down on how much food I have." Truman quickly said he'd help him with that. Dudley drank his potion and they all went to bed.

2nd September 1991 7:34 AM Great Hall, Hogwarts

Dudley looked down at his plate. One fried egg, two pieces of bacon, two sausages and a slice of toast with some butter on it. This was less than he'd ever eaten for breakfast. He wondered if he'd be able to sneak another piece of bacon. He ate a bit of sausage. "Hey guys, mind if I sit with you?" Dudley jumped he hadn't even noticed Harry walking towards them.

Hannah looked up at him. "No problem."

Harry grinned. "Thanks. You don't mind if I call Neville and Ron over when they get up?" The Hufflepuff's quickly shook their heads. "Cheers." He sat down and started to fill his plate up.

A pompous voice from behind him spoke. "Mr Potter." Harry turned around.

"Hey, Percy."

The Prefect reached forwards and gave Harry a piece of parchment. "Here is your timetable."

"Thank you." Harry glanced at his timetable. "I have Charms first with the Ravenclaw's. Followed by a free, then Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws. Then lunch. Then Herbology with the Slytherin's." Harry grabbed some crumpets.

A few minutes later, Ron and Neville sat down at the Hufflepuff table. Both were holding their own timetables. Ron grabbed himself a hearty breakfast. Dudley looked longingly at Ron's breakfast. It seemed he wasn't the only one who liked food.

"Mr Potter, Mr Dursley. I would like to talk to you. May I impose on the two of you to follow me outside the Great Hall?" Harry and Dudley looked at each other and then followed Dumbledore out of the Hall. Dumbledore turned back to them. "I have managed to put off telling Vernon and Petunia about the incident on the train. I can put it off no later than the start of your third lesson. I would advise you to write a letter explaining what happened from your points of view." He handed them both muggle notebooks and pens. "I think they would be more comfortable with paper, than with parchment."

Dudley turned to Harry. "I've got a free second as well. We can work together on them. Don't worry, I'll paint you in a good light." Harry thanked Dudley. Dumbledore went back to his office.

"Dudley, you'll have an easier time getting Hannah alone than me. Can you ask her why I shouldn't tell anyone I can speak to snakes?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll tell you in our free. Meet me in the library."

2nd September 1991 10:06 AM Library, Hogwarts

'What should I write about?' So far Harry had "Dear Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon," he needed more than that. But how do you go about saying "your son started a fight, during which he got thrashed and I got my head cut open," to two people who thought their son couldn't do anything wrong?

He'd been so deep in thought that he didn't notice the Badgers until Hannah sat down next to him. "Shh. Being a Parselmouth is considered evil." Noting his confused expression she added, "Parseltongue is snake language and Parselmouths are people who can speak it. Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth. You-Know-Who claimed to be. Loads of Dark Wizards have been. Herpo the Foul was one. He created the first ever Basilisk! Most people will assume that you're evil if you can speak Parseltongue. Don't tell anyone else unless you trust them implicitly!"

With that out of the way, everyone worked on helping Harry and Dudley to write their letters. Hannah had spoken softly enough that only Harry had heard her. Harry thought that was a good thing. He liked the Hufflepuff's and trusted them. He just didn't trust them implicitly.

2nd September 1991 12:32 PM 4 Privet Drive

"Hello, Petunia. May I come in?" Petunia quickly let Dumbledore in.

"No one saw you, right?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "No, I cast spells to make people ignore my presence. Is Vernon home?"

"No he's gone to work, what's this about?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Perhaps it would be best if I let your son and nephew tell you?" He handed Petunia two notes.

Dear Mum and Dad,

Well, first off, I didn't get put in Slytherin. I'm a Hufflepuff. I've been put on a diet because I was a little bit fat.

The reason I am writing this letter, though, is to tell you part of the train ride yesterday. Harry and I met up with Susan, that witch we met in Diagon Alley. She introduced us to Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley. Not long after that, though, a boy called Malfoy came into our compartment. He asked if Harry Potter was in the compartment and then noticed Harry's scar. He said that Harry could do better than have friends like Justin, Hannah, Susan and me. He called me and Justin "Mudblood's." I've been told that that means we're inferior because our parents are muggles. He kept insulting me and my new friends so I punched him in the face. He had some other boys with him called Crabbe and Goyle. Goyle punched me in the eye, so I punched him back. Harry distracted Crabbe by punching him in the privates. Crabbe knocked Harry's head against the table and split it open. Crabbe and Goyle ended up ganging up on me. Prefects got there quickly and pulled them off me. They healed all of our injuries and gave all of us detention. Harry had to spend the night in the hospital wing, though. He's alright now, though.

I have to go to a lesson now, so I'll give this to Professor Dumbledore.

Love from, Dudley.

Dear Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon,

I assume you read Dudley's letter first. I was Sorted into Gryffindor. The Hat told me that, since I was prepared to ask the Hat to put me in Slytherin for Dudley, I couldn't go anywhere but Gryffindor.

Dudley told you about Malfoy. I'd been about to tell him to go away, when Dudley punched him in the face. If our positions were reversed, I think I'd have done the same thing. Malfoy wasn't just insulting Dudley. He'd been insulting you. When I saw that Malfoy's goons were going to attack Dudley, I knew I couldn't just leave him. It was two on one and, despite our past disagreements, Dudley's family. You can't leave family to deal with things on their own. You help them. Dudley and Goyle were already punching each other, so I moved to Crabbe to distract him and he kicked me into a table. Crabbe was about to start beating me up, when Dudley did the same for me as I had done for him. I was too stunned to help Dudley against the two goons and everyone else was too shocked to help. Luckily, the Prefects arrived when they did.

From, Harry.


	3. Chapter 3 - Potions

A/N I know Hagrid's manner of speaking could be a bit confusing. If it's too confusing, please tell me and I'll re-write it in proper English. I have also decided to delete Harry Potter and the Bite and upload the rewritten version. You probably guessed that when I renamed the original "Going to be deleted". Sorry for the long wait. I do not own the rights to Harry Potter. They belong to J K Rowling and I highly doubt she will ever give them to me. Maybe she'll share?

Chapter 3 - Potions

 **2nd September 1991 2:37 PM Library, Hogwarts**

"How on earth is that man a teacher?!?" Madam Pince hissed at Dudley to be quiet. Harry, Ron and Neville looked up at Dudley in surprise. Harry asked who Dudley meant. "Snape!"

"Shh!"

"He absolutely hates me!"

"If you can't be quiet, you will have to leave!"

"It's ridiculous! You guys saw how he was picking on me!" The other Badgers responses would have to wait as Madam Pince practically chased them out of the library.

The Badgers lead them to the kitchens. "We can talk here, but we need to find our own room to hang out in. Shame we're not all in the same House. We'd be able to just use the Common Room then."

Dudley agreed with Hannah. "Yeah, we do need to find a room to use. But you guys saw how Snape was picking on me, right?" The Badgers all nodded and confirmed that Snape picked on Dudley more than anyone else in the room.

Ernie turned to Harry. "Father was in the same year as Professor Snape. So was your father, Harry. Father told me that Severus Snape and James Potter loathed one another. Father often described Professor Snape as petty. Professor Snape will probably treat you the same as Dudley, if not worse." Everyone else agreed with Ernie's assumption.

 **3rd September 1991 12:20 PM Great Hall, Hogwarts**

Harry, Ron and Neville were frantically studying Potions. Their Hufflepuff friends had informed them that Snape liked to quiz students on the first lesson. The older Hufflepuff's backed this up and told them that he especially hated Gryffindor's. Ron's older twin brothers had backed them up. Percy the Prat would never say anything bad about a Professor. Harry was studying even harder than the other two. He didn't want to give Snape an excuse to pick on him. He knew he'd be picked on, but he wanted to stop Snape from having an excuse with the other teachers. He'd soon learn that it wouldn't matter how much studying he did for Snape. He would still be picked on. The Badger's were working on their Potions homework. 13 inches on the properties and uses of the Cure for Boils Potion.

"Mr Potter. Mr Dursley. Good to see you both working hard on your studies." Dudley and Harry looked up. Professor Dumbledore was smiling down at them. "The rest of you, too. 15 points and 25 points to Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, respectively, for taking studies seriously. I have brought letters for the two of you from Vernon and Petunia." He handed each of them a letter. "Good day."

Ron, Neville and the Badgers looked at Harry and Dudley nervously. "How'd they take it?" Asked Susan.

Dudley smiled. "Alright. I mean, they're angry I was in a fight, but they understand why I was. And they seem to be pleased that Harry helped me out."

"Yeah. They want me to avoid Malfoy where possible, which is exactly what I was going to do. They also told me to try to protect Dudley more." Hannah was annoyed by that.

"'Protect Dudley more'? You couldn't have done anything else. Seriously, I don't think there was physically anything else you could have done. You got your head split open and had to spend the night in the infirmary! Are they at least grateful for everything you did?"

Dudley defended his parents. "They are grateful! Harry, they mentioned that they were surprised that you bothered to help me with the way I've treated you in the past. They didn't explicitly say it, but I can tell they are grateful for the efforts you made. You got hurt trying to help me and I can tell that mum is concerned with your head injury. I'm not sure about dad. He tends to not let anyone know his feelings whenever possible. Or at least, his girly feelings."

Susan and Hannah rounded on Dudley. "What do you mean: 'girly feelings'?"

Dudley could tell he'd made a mistake. "Er, uh. You know, sadness, concern, love, worry. You know, weak feelings that men aren't supposed to have." Dudley wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. If he was, he'd have known to say literally anything but that. Both girls viciously berated him for his idiocy throughout the rest of lunch.

 **3rd September 1991 1:33 PM Dungeons, Hogwarts**

"So, who'll work with who?"

Ron looked at Neville. "Flip a Knut?"

"Sure." Ron pulled out a Knut. "Heads." Ron tossed the Knut into the air. As it came down, a hand snatched it away.

"Mind if I take a look at this, Weasley?" The three Gryffindors glared at the sneering face of the boy who was quickly becoming their most hated person. That would soon change. "I've never seen a Knut before. My family only has use for Galleons, you see. Dear Merlin! It has a goat on it? How repulsive."

Ron glared at the blond. "Shove off, Malfoy."

Malfoy smirked. "Hit a nerve, did I? Well, this has been fun. I'd better give you this back, Weasley. After all, it is your entire family's money for the year." Harry and Neville grabbed Ron to stop him from jumping on Malfoy.

"Potter! Weasley! Longbottom! No fighting! You're wizards! Act like it! Fifteen points from Gryffindor!" The Gryffindor's jumped. They hadn't noticed their teacher had arrived. "Give Weasley his money back, Draco. I'd hate for his family to end up on the street." Malfoy threw the Knut high enough to fly right over Ron's head. Harry's hand darted out and caught it. He gave it back to Ron. Snape ushered the class inside.

Harry sat down next to Ron, whilst Neville sat down next to Seamus.

Snape took out the register an began reading it out. He stopped after reading out Parvati Patil's name. "Ah yes. Harry Potter. Our new - celebrity." The Slytherin's sniggered at Harry's unwanted attention. Snape continued as normal.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death—if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

"Potter!" Said Snape suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

A bushy-haired Gryffindor's hand shot up into the air. Harry panicked. He remembered something about them. To do with sleep? "Uh, I don't know, but I think it makes you sleepy?"

"Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

Harry knew what bezoars did, but he didn't know where to find them. "In a Potions lab, sir?" There was scattered laughter.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for cheek, Potter. What is the difference, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

Harry knew this. "There isn't a difference. It's the same plant isn't it?"

"Asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. So you were technically correct in saying it makes you sleepy. A gross understatement, however. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, you were right, there is no difference. They are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite." Snape looked across the class. "Well, why aren't you writing this down?"

There was a sudden rummaging for quills and parchment. The class continued as Harry, Ron and Neville expected it would, until Neville and Seamus' cauldron melted. The potion covered Neville and Seamus. The Slytherin's laughed at the boys misfortune. Snape glared at Neville. "Idiot boy! I assume you put the porcupine quills in before taking it off the flame? Idiot!" He whirled to glare at Harry. "Potter! Why did you not inform Longbottom of his mistake? Thought it would make you look better if he failed? Ten points from Gryffindor!"

"Hey! That's not fair! Neville's my friend. I'd obviously help him out! I was looking at my own cauldron, though. I wanted to do good in this lesson!" Snape glowered at Harry.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for backchat! Longbottom! Finnigan! Come to the front for the antidote." Neville and Seamus, boil-ridden, ran to the front of the class. Harry and Ron glared at the man who had just surpassed Malfoy on their most hated list, if only because he could take points off them.

 **6th September 1991 5:41 PM Grounds, Hogwarts**

"Come on, guys!" Harry was beaming. He was going to meet someone who had actually met his parents. He was so excited! His friends were too slow! "Hurry up!" Eventually, they made it to Hagrid's. Harry's smile faltered a bit upon hearing the loud barks of a dog. He wasn't keen on dogs. Aunt Marge had dogs. Hagrid's loud voice told them the dog was called Fang. The door opened the door and they saw Hagrid holding back a dog that was just as big as any of the boys there. Hagrid was beaming.

"Harry! So glad yeh could make i'. And yeh brough' friends! Glad ta see yer settlin' in." He ushered them inside. "Why don' yeh all introduce yehselves. Dudley, ah know. Yeh look good, Dudley." Dudley smiled and thanked Hagrid. It was true. He still looked a bit overweight, but he now resembled a human, as opposed to a beached whale. His diet was doing great. He no longer felt the need to have fifteen meals at the same time. Everyone else introduced themselves.

Harry was getting a bit impatient. "Can you tell us about my parents, Hagrid?"

Hagrid chuckled. "Ah can tell yeh abou' all o' yeh parents. 'Cept fer Dudley an' Justin, o' course. Harry, yeh father were a bi' o' a troublemaker. 'E liked 'is practical jokes, 'e did. Professor Snape were 'is favourite targe'. O' course, back then 'e weren't a Professor, 'e were jus' Snape. Yeh father an' 'is friends came up wi' a nickname fer 'im. Ah can't qui' 'member wha' i' were. 'E go' inta qui' a bi' o' trouble. Yeh parents didn' star' goin' ou' 'til seventh year. Yeh father had finally star'ed ta grow up. Do yeh wan' ta hear the story ah were gonna tell yeh a' Diagon Alley? The one yeh aun' an' uncle didn' wan' yeh ta hear?"

Harry and Dudley looked at each other and grinned. They were the only ones who knew vaguely what Hagrid was going to say. "Yeah!"

Hagrid grinned. "Well. Yeh father had brough' his broom ta school. It were the lates' racing broom a' the time. He'd managed ta ge' a temporary Shrinking Charm on i'. Halfway across the lake, he removed the Charm fer his broom an' another firs' year who'd done the same. They both tore across the lake on their brooms. They threw water balloons at every other boa'. Even mine! Ta make up fer me size, they threw multiple balloons a' me. Ah didn' mind. Ah found i' funny. Ah 'member they dumped abou' fifteen inta Snape's boa'. They ended up runnin' ou' of balloons an' decided ta tip Snape's boa' over. Yeh mum had the misfortune ta be sharin' Snape's boa'. They flew abou' a bi' more an' high fived. Ah go' the feelin' they'd me' Snape on the train an' didn' hi' i' off. Snape surfaced an' fired some Curses a' 'em. Ah recognised one of 'em as a Curse ah don' fink a firs' year should know. Ah weren' surprised. His mother were a Slytherin Pureblood. They all know Dark Curses. An' ah can 'member one time a seventh year Ravenclaw go' drunk an' tried ta feel her up. She put him in the Hospital Wing fer so long, he missed his NEWTs. Had ta retake 'em a' the Ministry. Bu' ah digress. Ah had ta grab the students in the wa'er an' put 'em back in the boa'. After putting i' back uprigh'. Ah told yeh father an' the other firs' year ta knock i' off. They flew next ta the boa's fer the res' o' the boa' ride. Professor McGonagall were angrier a' 'em than ah've seen her, before or since. An' ah've seen 'er angry more times than ah can coun'. Ah've been here fer fifty-one consecutive years. Even the Weasley twins haven' beaten yeh dad an' 'is friends fer how tightly pursed her lips have gotten." Hagrid laughed nervously. "Eh, don' tell her ah said tha'. Bu' tha' were the day Professor McGonagall firs' proposed tha' firs' Years should no' be allowed brooms. I' weren' until halfway through the school year tha' Dumbledore finally accepted tha' firs' years shouldn' be allowed brooms."

"Hey, Harry." Harry turned to look at Dudley. "This happened on your birthday." Everyone looked at what Dudley was gesturing to. It was a news article about a break in at Gringotts. It had indeed occurred on Harry's birthday.

Hagrid had noticed what they were looking at. "Ah had ta ge' somefin' fer Dumbledore from Gringotts tha' day. Importan' business tha' were. On'y place safer than Gringotts fer somefin' is Hogwarts." Hagrid paled slightly. "Ah shouldn' of said tha'."

Harry looked at Hagrid. "What did you have to get for Dumbledore, Hagrid?"

Hagrid looked theatrically at his bare wrist. "Well, would yeh look a' the time. Yeh'd bes' be off. Don' wanna be caugh' ou' of bed pas' curfew. 'Specially no' on yeh firs' week a' Hogwarts." Hagrid quickly bustled them out of the front door.

Dudley checked his watch. "It's 6:01. We have two hours until curfew." Dudley looked at the others. "Hagrid doesn't have a sense of subtlety, does he?" Everyone apart from Hannah snickered.

"I wonder what it was he didn't want us to know. Also, you have an hour until your detention, Dudley."

Harry's face dropped. "My detention as well." The professors had decided to give Harry a bit of time to recover before he had his detention.

Ron smirked. "I'll see if my brothers would be willing to prank the Slytherin's. Y'know. Whilst your detention's going on."

Dudley grinned. "I never thought I'd say this, but thank God I have to do detentions with the Slytherin's. Hopefully, you'll be joining us, Harry."

 **6th September 1991 7:13 PM Fourth Floor Boys toilets, Hogwarts**

Harry was bored. He'd been scrubbing this toilet for thirteen minutes. He'd been counting. He wouldn't be allowed to stop until Filch told him to move on to the next one. He'd stopped listening to Filch five minutes ago. He knew Filch was talking about his vendetta against the Weasley twins. The entire bathroom was covered in black ink from a prank the twins had played earlier in the week. Harry liked them but wished they'd done a prank he didn't have to clean up after.

"... one of the brats thought it would be funny to drop a dungbomb in my office. Unfortunately, they managed to escape and steal something from my confiscated items drawer. Infuriating red heads. I like nothing better than to flay their backs raw." A loud clanging noise prevented Filch from continuing his sadistic vitriol. Filch crossed the room and tore the door open. "PEEVES! What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" The mischievous poltergeists response was to throw a small pink pellet at Filch's face. The pellet burst into a brown powder. "PEEVES!!! I SWEAR TO MERLIN I'LL GET YOU EXORCISED!!! GET BACK HERE!!" Filch took off.

Seconds passed and two tall Slytherin's with brown hair entered. "Peeves is very accurate with those Stink Pellets."

"Quite right, Gregory." This one turned to look at the three Slytherin first years. "Hello, my name is Ferris, this is my brother, Gregory. We wanted to show some gratitude to the three of you for telling Potter's filthy cousin what he is."

Gregory spoke. "So we got you some cupcakes from the kitchen. Enjoy." He handed a cupcake to each Slytherin in turn. Crabbe and Goyle ate theirs in one bite each. Malfoy was a bit suspicious though.

"How come I haven't seen you in the Common Room?"

Ferris gave a light chuckle. "Well, if not for our Pureblood status and our opinions on people like Dursley and Potter, we would be the perfect Ravenclaws. We tend to be in the library way after curfew most nights."

"Don't tell Filch." Malfoy smirked, content he was in the company of likeminded people.

"Wonderful." He took a bite out of his cupcake. "What might your surname be? I always like to know who my allies are."

Ferris and Gregory smirked. In unison, both reached up to their brown curls. "Weasley." They tore the wigs from their heads in one motion. "You should really make sure..."

"... that you are in the company..."

"... of fellow Slytherin's before..."

"... eating anything!" Malfoy's face dropped as Crabbe turned to his leader.

"I don't feel very good." A stream of bright pink vomit launched out of the soft spoken Slytherin impacting on his leaders cheek. Goyle threw up on his shoes.

Malfoy's face grew red from rage. "Y-you horrible Muggle-lovers! You Blood-Traitors! I wish your mother had a m-eurgh!" He was unable to finish his sentence as a litre of pink vomit stained the floor he'd been scrubbing. The three Gryffindor's and Dudley laughed heartily at the plight of the Slytherin's until Filch returned.

"What in Merlin's name are you two doing here?" he snarled. At the sound of more vomit hitting the floor the grouchy squib turned his head and looked at the Slytherin's. He quickly put two and two together. "You... you little GITS! YOU GINGER BASTARDS!" The three Gryffindor's and Dudley's eyebrows raised in shock. "I'LL HAVE YOU EXPELLED FOR THIS! MESSING UP THE NICE CLEAN FLOOR!" His breath escaped through the gaps in his gritted teeth. "Come with me, right now."

"It was just-"

"NOW!" Fred and George followed him from the room silently. Neither had ever seen him this angry before. "YOUR DETENTION'S OVER! MALFOY! CRABBE! GOYLE! STAY HERE AND WAIT FOR MADAM POMFREY!" His instruction was pointless as the Slytherin's couldn't move without throwing up some more.

Harry and Dudley quickly raced off. "I hope they'll be alright."

Dudley tried to reassure Harry. "Of course they will. What's the worst Filch can do? Take a few House points? Give them a detention? They'll be fine. Plus if they lose House points, Hufflepuff will have a better shot at winning the House Cup!"

Harry laughed. "Hufflepuff hasn't got a chance. Gryffindor's gonna win. Besides, I heard someone say that the twins keep track of how many points they lose and earn them all back at the end of the year."

"Damn. There goes our shot." Dudley said sarcastically.

"Slytherin's won the past six years, so both of us probably don't have a shot. I wonder why Filch was that pissed off by the twins?" Harry raised a good point. Whilst Filch was renowned for having a terrible temper when it came to rule breaking, he wasn't known as someone to swear at students. Unless you count 'git' as a swear word.

"Probably because he hates the twins and we were cleaning up a different prank they'd pulled." Harry nodded in agreement. "Plus, haven't the twins been really hammering the Slytherin's with pranks because of what happened with that Carrow guy?"

"Yeah, they've been going after everyone who's the child of a Death Eater or suspected Death Eater. I heard that Flint guy's been pranked four times already and it's only the sixth day of term."


End file.
